How We Made It Through
The 4 Month Sleep Regression
(well, almosttttt made it through)
I’d like to tell you all my story on listening to your mama gut and empower you to make choices that you feel are right for you and your baby/family. I am writing this blog for any new parent out there who is going through the 4 month sleep regression currently to not feel alone in that journey. And if you’re reading this in the wee hours of the morning because well…you’re trying to put your little one to sleep, take a deep breath and know this WILL pass! Your baby just needs you right now ❤️ So here we go…let’s get into it! :)
Around 10 weeks after Dallas was born, I woke up one morning to him fussing on the monitor, ready to get up for the day. When I rolled over to look at the clock I couldn’t believe my eyes…it was 5am and this was the first time Dallas was up since being put down the night before. Did our baby just sleep through the night?!?! Yes. Yes he did. After 10 long weeks of brutallll sleep, it felt like we had just survived war (not to be dramatic lol). That morning I cried tears of joy, hit a fabulous leg day, made breakfast and cleaned the house. I finally felt like myself again after jsut one night of rest!! From there our baby boy continued sleeping through the night and I was feeling so good and feeling like I was really getting the hang of this new mom thing. When we took Dallas to his pediatric appointment, our doctor told us not to be surprised if at 4 months he started going through a sleep regression, as that is a typical milestone for babies. When he said that I thought, “okay but not our baby - he’s a great sleeper”. Oh boy was I wrong!!
At around 13 weeks that sleep regression began. Dallas woke up randomly at midnight one night...so we fed him and put him back to bed, only to have him fight us harder than usual on it. After several attempts of rocking and singing, he finally dozed off. Just about an hour later, our sweet boy decided to cry almost immediately upon waking (usually he will just hangout for a bit before fussing), so we went through the same cycle again. We tried our best not to feed him to not get him used to the late night feedings but eventually gave up. We fed him and it helped tremendously by getting him back to sleep again. He then woke up again a couple hours later, so we decided to just be awake for the day. At this point we just thought maybe it was a fluke, surely he cannot be entering the 4 month sleep regression this early??? Turns out… he indeed was.
So, after a few nights of no sleep, I did what every new mom does and turned to the internet. The amount of advice you can find on the 4 month sleep regression is absolutely wild and honestly overwhelming. Everyone has an opinion, and everyone thinks that THIS way is the way to help get through it. As someone who has now (nearly) gotten through this journey, I urge you to trust your instincts on this one and approach this in the way that YOU feel works best for your family and child. There is truly no “right” or “wrong” way to do things and what works for me or someone else might not work for you. So I am here to empower you in your decision making and tell you that just because everyone else does something does not mean it is the only way and if your approach is different it doesn’t make it “wrong”.
For me, I felt that all the things I read on the internet and lots of mom friends were telling me the only way to get through it was to just let my baby cry it out. But what was my heart and gut telling me? It was telling me that I didn’t want to let my baby cry, in any way shape or form. Again, there are lots of people who feel that this is right for them and that is completely ok!! But for me, it felt completely off from what my heart was telling me to do. So, although not letting him cry made it take a looooong time to teach him how to sleep pretty much through the night again, I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns and I hope this empowers you to do the same.
A few weeks into the sleep regression, I remember feeling like I was starting to lose my marbles. I went out with some friends to dinner one night and words were hard lol. Sleep deprivation is SO real my friends! But let me tell you something that helped me get through it: MINDSET! When I was freshly postpartum going through no sleep, I was all in my head. My hormones were trying to level out and becoming a new mom was exciting but also overwhelming. So I struggled a lot. THIS time going through no sleep, I was able to completely shift my mindset. I went into each night with a grateful heart, knowing that this isn’t going to last forever and soaking in every moment that I got to hold my baby boy (even if it was at 2am lol). . I reminded myself that I would one day look back and crave moments like these with my favorite human in the world (sorry Steve hahah). He needed me at that moment, and so I embraced it. This mindset shift definitely made the sleepless nights a bit more bearable - and don’t get me wrong I was still feeling the struggles of sleep deprivation, but reframing how I thought about it made the days easier to get through.
Around 18 weeks was when we started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. He started only waking up once or twice, to either be fed or to get his binky back in his mouth (side note: he HATED a binky until I stopped breastfeeding a few weeks ago!). In terms of what we did to help him start to sleep through the night, here are the things that have been working for us:
Consolidating his feeds. When he was 8 weeks old and we realized he was wayyyy behind in his weight, super fussy, and just overall unhappy - that’s when we decided to combo feed with formula. This led to me nursing him AND feeding him as much and as often as we possibly could. That man was HUNGRY, and I am pretty sure he was trying to catch up on calories. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I felt comfortable trying to consolidate his feeds to 6oz, every 3 hours. Doing this was an adjustment, especially trying to adjust him at night. What we did was if he fed 4 times per night at 2 oz, we dialed back an oz per night to finally consolidate to a 4-6oz bottle only ONCE per night. This took a few days of course, but it REALLY helped him start getting regulated with not only not waking up to snack at night, but it helped with his mood throughout the day and his digestion as well.
Making sure the room is not too cold. He sleeps in his footies and a sleep sack so we thought maybe he would get too hot, but turns out he had been too COLD! One night I tested it and made the room a few more degrees warmer than usual (which was scary cuz you hear of horror stories) and that night HE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! I was shook.
Downloaded the huckleberry app. This. Has. Been. A. GODSEND. It helps keep you on track to the exact minute on the appropriate time to put him to sleep based on his wake window for his age. You can also track his feedings which helps to make sure he is eating enough calories each day (which continues to also make sure he is eating the majority of his calories in the day vs. all night long). I also have my mom, sister in law, or mother in law logged in so that we are all on the same page for when they watch him! It’s incredible.
So that’s what we have been doing and feeling like we are seeing progress with! His sleep isn’t perfect yet, but it is so much better than it was, so we will take that as a win! I wish I could give you all one absolute solution for getting through the 4 month sleep regression, but what I’ve learned is that it’s truly different for every single baby and every family. Some parents get super lucky and go through the 4 month sleep regression for only a week. And some don’t go through it at all! And if you’re someone like me who does go through it for quite a while, just know… you WILL sleep again. Trust your gut and know that only YOU know what’s best for you, your baby, and your family.
Love you guys have the best week!!
